


Art is Dead

by BeeCeit



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Hurt No Comfort, Intrusive Thoughts, Non-Graphic Violence, Panic Attacks, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Character Death, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23825377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeCeit/pseuds/BeeCeit
Summary: Roman listens to Logan’s playlist… it affects him more than he expected
Comments: 53
Kudos: 202





	1. Chapter 1

Roman smiled to himself, laying across the couch, sketching.

Logan’s playlist had just been posted. It was nice, if not a bit on the nose. (White and Nerdy, Teach? Well, at least he’s self-aware)

**_Art is dead_ **

**_Art is dead_ **

**_Art is dead_ **

**_Art is dead_ **

Roman frowned and sat up, turning his volume up.

**_Entertainers like to seem complicated_ **

**_But we're not complicated_ **

**_I can explain it pretty easily_ **

He could hear Logan off to his side, correcting Patton on some fact he’d misunderstood.

  
  


**_Have you ever been to a birthday_ **

**_Party for children?_ **

**_And one of the children_ **

**_Won't stop screaming_ **

**_'Cause he's just a little_ **

**_Attention attractor_ **

**_When he grows up_ **

**_To be a comic or actor_ **

**_He'll be rewarded_ **

**_For never maturing_ **

**_For never under-_ **

**_Standing or learning_ **

**_That every day_ **

**_Can't be about him_ **

**_There's other people_ **

**_You selfish asshole_ **

Roman felt his stomach sink. He knew Logan hated him, it wasn’t something the teacher ever disguised well, but he thought they were doing better. He didn’t expect Logan to air out his hatred off him to Thomas’ fanbase at large.

**_I must be psychotic_ **

**_I must be demented_ **

**_To think that I'm worthy_ **

**_Of all this attention_ **

Roman curled in on himself.

He knew he didn’t deserve the attention he craved so much. Didn’t deserve the spotlight. Didn’t deserve the praise his friends gave him.

**_Of all of this money, you worked really hard for_ **

**_I slept in late while you worked at the drug store_ **

**_My drug's attention, I am an addict_ **

**_But I get paid to indulge in my habit_ **

**_It's all an illusion, I'm wearing make-up, I'm wearing make-up_ **

**_Make-up, make-up, make-up, make..._ **

He felt the caked on concealer he used to hide his eye bags melting.

**_Art is dead_ **

**_So people think you're funny, how do we get those people's money_ **

**_I said art is dead_ **

**_We're rolling in dough, while Carlin rolls in his grave_ **

**_His grave, his grave_ **

_ “Princey? You okay, buddy?” _ _  
  
_

**_The show has got a budget_ **

**_The show has got a budget_ **

**_And all the poor people way more deserving of the money_ **

**_Won't budge it_ **

_ “Hey, Ro, you need to breathe. Four-Seven-Eight, just like Talyn taught us, remember?” _

**_'Cause I wanted my name in lights_ **

**_When I could have fed a family of four_ **

**_For forty fucking fortnights_ **

**_Forty fucking fortnights_ **

“Roman, can you hear us?”

Roman felt the headphones pulled off of his head and looked up to see Logan kneeling in front of him.

“Are you alright?”   
  
Roman sank out to his room, leaving his phone behind.

**_I am an artist, please God forgive me_ **

**_I am an artist, please don't revere me_ **

**_I am an artist, please don't respect me_ **

**_I am an artist, you're free to correct me_ **

He hyperventilated, feeling the walls coming down around him. 

**_A self-centered artist_ **

**_Self-obsessed artist_ **

**_I am an artist_ **

**_I am an artist_ **

He sobbed, pulling off his sash and balling it up, throwing it in the trash, He could barely hear the frantic knocking at his door over his own heartbeat. 

“I’m so sorry.”

**_But I'm just a kid_ **

**_I'm just a kid_ **

**_I'm just a kid_ **

**_Kid_ **

**_And maybe I'll grow out of it_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR THE NEW VIDEO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, if you look on Tumblr, my friend Jay is writing this story with me from Logan's perspective
> 
> https://jaydelightful.tumblr.com/post/617045411226615808/part-3-aaaaaand-the-saga-continues-yeet-ceit-is

So… Deceit was Janus, now.

It’s a stupid name. 

Roman seethed, throwing book after book against the wall.

He hadn’t left his room in a week. Sure, Patton had tried to get him to come to dinner, but what was the point? Obviously he wasn’t wanted there.

He wasn’t wanted at all.

Logan made his feeling clear enough on his playlist, he shouldn’t have been surprised that the sentiment was shared.

Roman was unnecessary. He was the thorn in Thomas’ side, never Logan. And to top it off, he made Logan feel like appearing to help Thomas would be intrusive. Roman was the one hurting Thomas. The one making Thomas a bad person. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise that Thomas would choose Janus over him.

Roman fell to his knees. Around him, the books and posters that adorned his room disappeared. His work and ideas and art all gone. Everything faded away until he was left in an empty white walled room. He left his bed, though now with white sheets, and his desk, but nothing else.

“Art is dead…”

Roman took a deep breath and ducked out.

In the morning, Logan woke up to see the cherry red door across from his room now painted yellow, and two notes. The first where Roman’s name had been painted, now simply saying “Janus” on it.

The second said “You’re welcome, Logan. I hope you’re happy now.”


	3. Chapter 3

If you’ve ever read Beowulf, you’d know that in the end, Beowulf dies at the hands of a dragon.

Roman always loved that. It was a noble death for a noble hero. He was mourned, in his passing, as a great warrior.

Nobody in their right mind would be contemplating classic literature mid-battle. Although, Roman supposed, he was far from in his right mind.

Death by dragon wasn’t technically suicide… at least, the others wouldn’t suspect it to be. Well, maybe Logan would, but Logan always knew more than he should. Hopefully, Logan would be convinced that Roman’s final fight was just another failure, and not… not what it really was.

He was almost genuinely surprised when her claw ripped through his chest.

Though probably not as surprised as Logan was to find his scarcely breathing body on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop


	4. Chapter 4

Remus… wasn’t handling things well.

Realistically he knew that Roman would wake up, sides can’t really die, but the fact that Roman had… 

No. 

No. 

Shut up.

He turned his phone on, hitting play on Spotify, and cranked the volume as loud as he could.

_ I'm high above the city _

_ I'm standing on the ledge _

_ The view from here is pretty _

_ And I step off the edge _

Remus hissed and shut the music off.

Roman’s playlist really had a song where someone committed suicide on it?

He really should’ve been paying more attention. Right now he was paying too much attention.

One of the awful parts of being Creativity, especially with controlling intrusive thoughts, was that whatever he imagined had a painful habit of sticking. Especially if they were unwelcomed.

  
  


Did Roman scream?

Did he bleed?

Did he call for help when he went down?

Did he-

“SHUT UP!”

“Remus?”   
  
Remus looked up, eyes wild.

“He’s awake.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but I'm almost done with school so I should have more energy soon

Janus hummed softly, pulling Roman's clothing off to treat his wounds.

"I know you can't hear me, Roman, but Patton was telling the truth. We do love you. ...I love you. Believe it or not, your brother does as well. Albeit in a very very different way. I'll explain better once you can actually hear me, but there- oh, Roman…"

Janus pulled his shirt away to reveal scars upon scars upon scars, going back years.

"Oh… oh, Roman."

Roman groaned softly, twitching.

"L- Logan?"

Janus kneeled next to him. 

"Logan's not here, it's just me, Janus. Do you want me to get him, Roman?"

His eyes opened, shaking his head.

"Tell him I'm sorry."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Badaboop, we got a flashback

"Logan?"

"Roman, can't you see I'm in the middle of something? What do you need? "

He turned and frowned. Roman's hair was a mess. His eyes looked tired and his clothes rumpled. 

"You remember that discussion we had, right? The one about Thomas' motivation?"

"Well, yes. I still don't concede to you, if that's what you're asking."

"No, no, I know that. I wanted to look at that graph you made. "

"Um… alright, I suppose?"

Logan rooted through his files until he found it and handed it to Roman.

Roman looked at it for a moment and frowned, nodding.

"Will that be all? "

"Yeah. Sorry, specs, I'll get out of your hair, now."

Roman sank out with a wave.

Logan nodded and went back to making his playlist.

"Art is Dead? That's an interesting song title."

~~~~~~~~  
"Tell Logan I'm sorry"

Janus nodded, leaving to tell him. 

Remus crossed his arms, leaning on the wall.

"You scared all of us, you know. I didn't think you'd wake up. 

"That's what I'm sorry for."

Logan froze in the hallway.


End file.
